Couple having sex

Do you feel like your sex life could do with a bit of excitement? It is always hard to maintain the heat in a relationship especially if you have been together a long time. Don’t let your passion die – use these top tips to keep things hot!

Hot, hot heat

Get busy anywhere but the bedroom

If you have heard yourself say we "used to be adventurous" when we first got together then this one could be for you. Variety is the spice of life and banning yourself from sex in the bedroom is a great way to become more spontaneous and creative with your love-making. When you don't have that guaranteed opportunity, it will make you long for your partner in a way you haven't since you first got together. Whether you rent a hotel, snatch a few intimate moments in your kitchen or lounge or get really adventurous and try outdoors, it is the perfect way to get your adrenaline pumping.

Forget about climaxing

Sex doesn't have to be "goal" orientated, taking part can be just as fun. Why not try kissing and cuddle? Take time to really enjoy your partner without trying to race to orgasm. The anticipation of having sex can sometimes be more of a turn-on than a quick fumble. Kissing is often forgotten about, but pay attention to a proper make-out session – it isn't just for teenagers. Maybe even spread out your love-making over a few nights, making sure that when you do finally get there it is explosive for both of you.

Surprise him in the shower

There is nothing like some morning delight to put a huge smile on you and your partner's face all day long. Hop into the shower with him, or simply drag him in yourself. Either way, it helps to keep your partner on his toes and is a welcomed surprise on a Monday morning. If you don't have that much time in the mornings, what about a quick make-out session under the water with the promise of more when he gets home. The anticipation of getting home to finish off will build all day and make the prospect far more exciting.

Show him you are sexy

It is difficult to sustain a sexy image in front of your partner, especially if you have been together a long time or have children. Just because you love each other doesn't mean you should neglect physical attraction – it's the key to any relationship. Surprise him by slipping on some sexy lingerie but make sure he knows it isn't for him – it makes you feel sexy. Feeling sexy in yourself will make you incredibly attractive to your partner, and if you feel good your sex will be better too. Wear lingerie all day at work and then casually slip off your clothes before you go to bed – it will give him a buzz to know that you had it on all day. It's hard to keep any kind of mystique in a relationship but if he is wondering whether you have that sexy corset on under your work clothes as you sit and eat dinner then it will definitely help turn up the heat.

Express yourself

Remember not to laugh, and even if you don't feel confident, you should pretend – fantasies are perfectly natural. Even if you don't share his try them anyway – you never know, you might enjoy it!

One of the advantages of having sex with someone you know well and trust is that you can be more adventurous with them – remember to take advantage of that with your partner. Ask what fantasies he has and share some of your own with him. Whether role-play, sexy costumes or even introducing sex toys or talking about the fantasy, it will help regain that intimacy between you. By indulging in each other's fantasies you can bring excitement and freshness into your bedroom and also feel that special connection when you share intimate thoughts with someone else.

More sex advice

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Tags: marriage and sex sex after marriage sex tips

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